Game On

It's been 3 days since I listened to this interview and 2 days since I wrote about it.  

So far I've bought this book, reinvigorated my daily yoga practice, and cried in public a few times.

 

Then, while reading Brene's book, I decided that this was all too scary and embarrassing to talk to any of my friends about and resolved to make new, special friends - just for this project.

 

Then, four hours later, Bjorn called to talk about plane tickets and I instantly lost my resolve.

 

His expert technique to break my resolved silence?

 

"Hey, how are you doing? You sound like you have something going on over there."

 

Best friends are the worst.

 

So then, of course, I dished. I told him I felt stupid, and weak, told him that I was afraid he wouldn't love me anymore if I never became a super athlete model with a perfect body and perfect self discipline.

 

He laughed, assured me I was being crazy.

 

I cried ... some more.

 

And then I went home and got into bed at 9pm.

 

And I feel great.

 

This is going to be a whole ton of work, and it feels like the time to do it. I've been carrying this crazy with me for years and I'm just sick of it.

 

Sick of being separated from my body, sick of being ashamed, sick of feeling embarrassed, sick of burying myself in leggings and t-shirts and over-sized scarves.

 

I'm just done with it. I'm ready to do this awful scary life giving work.

 

I'm ready to love myself and love my body and embrace exactly who I am in the very moment.

 

Game on.

I