I set my own hours at work. My job is stable and pays me a healthy wage. In any given week, I have few rigid or unwanted commitments. I sleep 8-9 hours every night. I live a very comfortable life and I have a lot of free time.
Crazily, despite all this comfort and time, I still struggle with loneliness and boredom. I still have days like today, where I take a 4 hour road trip half way across the state - just because I can't bare the thought of going home to my empty apartment.
With all this time and stability, how do I still fail to generate creativity and community? How do I let the day pass without making anything new?
For today, I think I'll just notice that it happens. I often fail to live up to my vision for humanity. I squander my hours away. It happens - and I don't know if it'll ever stop happening, if I'll ever completely eliminate days like today.
Either way, I'll keep trying to eliminate them. I'll keep working towards a life of meaningful work and powerful friendships. In this endeavour, I'm willing to work, fail, and slowly improve.
Failing sucks, so if I'm going to fail, I want it to be at something that's worth it. I'll keep working, because a life engagement is something worth failing for.